1. A motorcycle cannot fall over without an audience.

2. The odds of a motorcycle falling over are directly proportional to the size of the audience and of the owner's ego. Newness and cost of the bike are contributing factors.

3. Motorcycles are to yellow bugs what aircraft carriers once were to Kamikaze pilots.

4. You will not feel the need to go to the restroom until after you have put on your rainsuit.

5. The fact that your keys are still in your pants pocket will only become apparent after you have put on your gloves.

6. Quick fixes are so named for how long they stay fixed.

7. The only part you really need will also be the only part on permanent backorder.

8. Nothing is harder to start than a used motorcycle being shown to a prospective buyer.

9. You will never suffer a punctured tire on the road until you leave the repair kit at home.

10. "Universal" accessories are so named because that is where you must search to find the bike they fit.